Relationship counseling?

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems arise. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road.  Early counseling can even sometimes help prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go to counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to ask your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in a way that seems opinionated, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling "at least" for yourself.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of needing counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems, or admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. By facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep you both happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

We are dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation.  Or, if you are looking to keep that already good relationship fresh, we also have many great FREE Best Romantic Ideas, and even advice on spicing up things in the bedroom!  So, for more help with Divorced dad help, check us out.  Thank you!

Divorced Dad Help! Things to do first.

Documents.

Move your documents and other papers somewhere else, like your friend's house or some other off site storage. You can expect that your children's mother will be going through your personal items, automobile, cell phone, bills, and computer, looking for any information she can use against you.

Bank Accounts.

Go to the bank and divide the joint bank accounts in half and open a new account in your own name. I opened an account in a new bank even. It is usually easier to give money back than to get it back. If you are the main moneymaker do not leave your children and their mother with no money. This will only aggravate the judge who will make you pay anyway, and most likely it will be retroactive. Make arrangements so that bills will be covered. Let your children's mother know what you have done, but not before you have done it. You do not want her to clean out your accounts first.

Valuables.

Move any valuables, like collections, jewelry, artwork, firearms, cash, and heirlooms out of the house to a safe place. Anything with significant or sentimental value. You are not trying to hide things. But you do not want to come home from work and find that your valuables have been sold at a yard sale.

Credit Cards.

You do not want to wake up one day and discover that your children's mother has charged $2,000 on your joint credit card on a spending spree. You may be responsible for paying part or all of that $2,000. Close all joint credit or loan accounts and notify the banks, charge cards, and others by a certified, return receipt letter that you are no longer responsible for the expenses of your children's mother. You may ask the company to reopen an account in your own name. This is a good time to request it. Let your children's mother know so she is not caught by surprise at the grocery store when the credit card no longer works. If she has already started her spending spree, report the card as stolen. If she has charged her attorney fees on the card, you can dispute the charges with the company.

Insurances.

If you cover your spouse or children on your insurance, do not drop them from the policy at least until the divorce is final. You are probably responsible for at least half of their medical bills until then anyway. Even after the divorce, the employed spouse may want to keep the spouse and children covered. If you are paying child support, a large unexpected medical expense for the child could be assessed against the noncustodial parent as additional child support. The same could happen with alimony and an ex-spouse. Federal law allows most employees to cover their spouses for up to thirty-six months after a divorce for a small additional premium. However, the employer must be notified prior to the final divorce decree.

Household Type Expenses.

Two separate households cannot live as cheaply as one. It is time to cut costs as much as possible. Cancel anything you do not need like extra telephone lines or cable television. If there is any personal property you do not want or need, sell it. However, do not cut off the utilities on your children and their mother without giving them plenty of notice. Make sure you can prove this notice to the court because leaving your children and their mother high and dry never sits well with a judge.

Retirement Money.

Retirement funds acquired during a marriage are marital assets that can be divided by the divorce court. So chances are good that your wife will share in anything you contribute now to your pension plan at work or your Individual Retirement Account (IRA). Stop your contributions to your 401(k) account or other pension plan. Do not make contributions this year to your IRA. This will keep your spouse from getting part of it and chances are you will need the money soon anyway.

Get a Lawyer.

Find a good divorce lawyer and set up an appointment right away. I started by asking my coworkers for referrals and found one that way. Some lawyers charge for an initial consultation fee and some do not. In the initial meeting, you will be able to get some good advice and strategy for your particular situation. You will also be able to assess the attorney to see if it's a good fit for you. During this meeting, the attorney will discuss costs with you. But be aware that any estimate by an attorney is the roughest of all guesses and depends upon what your spouse and her attorney do. Your attorney will probably tell you not to sign anything before he or she reviews it. Your attorney will also advise you about other matters you will need to consider during this huge change in your life.

Finally - GOOD LUCK!

PLEASE, try to remain amicable. It is really in everyone's best interests. The lawyers get all the money when people play games. Good luck.

I am dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation.  Or, if you are looking to keep that already good relationship fresh, I also have many great FREE Best Romantic Ideas, and even advice on spicing up things in the bedroom!  So, for more help with Divorced dad help, check out the site.  Thank you!

Getting back at them without games.

5 Ways to Get Back at Your Ex...

Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Unfortunately, break ups do happen, and they are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex but is this really the best step to take? One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.

1 - Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.

2 - Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.

3 - Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.

4 - Get the heck out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5 - Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.

Get your ex back!

Can I get my Ex Girlfriend Back?

Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup probably wasn’t so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved.  You’ll have to hope she feels the same way.  If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step. 

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side? 

Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are.  Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.

If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote.  Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it.  It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t.  Try to honestly express how you feel.  Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.

A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful.  Were you thoughtful during the relationship?  Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful?  Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back.  Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.

If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now.  Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry.  Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?

If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?

The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance.  Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that.  Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.

If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week.  But don’t look as if you have any expectations.  Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.

One other thing my friend, the points made above, are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.

Frankly, that's what I did when my true love dumped me. I followed a plan authored by T 'Dub' Jackson. When my cause was almost hopeless and I was dieing inside, it hauled me up by my bootstraps and helped me get my life's love back. It's called "The Magic of Making Up" and you can check it out at: How to get your ex back.

If you want other FREE Romantic Date Ideas to help you now, or later, check out our site.

Thank you!

Get ur Girlfriend Back!

How Can I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend?

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an abrupt end, either one or both parties involved may still be in doubt that the end is really the end, and this is especially true when a relationship is new.  Some men simply cannot accept the fact that their girlfriend walked away.  Therefore, they find themselves still hoping she'll still be there in the morning and that it was all a dream.  Are you asking "How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend", it is important that you create a plan regarding how to do it.

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are numerous steps to take. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

- There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. But first, you should ask yourself some questions Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or you don't believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.

- Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you cannot help them, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her.

- Learn how to control your feelings, forgetting about self pity and instead working on the positive aspects of working things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.

- Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually.

- Above all else, analyze what went awry with the relationship. There must have been a problem that led to the end of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to get back together with your ex. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of her needs weren't being met, and work on rectifying those issues.

For more information and help, check out our site Get urGirlfriend Back - Thank you!